Day 124

Day 124: Real Time

Day 20: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey

I’m almost there. One more day. This time, my confidence is complete, my goal within my fingertips on the other side of this very day.

I have much to think about today. This journey has been significant, life-altering, important in ways I never anticipated. And I’m sure I’m no different than others who have reached this milestone, too.

I still have much to learn about dealing with people, with life, without judging and whining. I view this journey as one that will continue beyond tomorrow’s milestone. After all, isn’t that what a milestone is? A marker. A place to assess where we are, how far we’ve come.

Until the next one shows up along our path. There is always another one.

" The challenge of a life’s time, to choose to cultivate these capacities for learning, growing, healing and transformation right in the midst of our moments, is also the adventure of a lifetime. It begins a journey toward realizing who we really are and living our lives as if they really mattered.” Jon Kabat-Zinn, Coming to Our Senses.



 Day 20. Have you sent the invitations to my congratulatory party yet?

The gate

Day 121

Day 121: Real Time

Almost there....

Day 17: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey        


Day 17.  If my plan holds, I will reach Day 21 this Sunday, Sept. 19th. For those of you who may have just stumbled on this column by accident, welcome! And by way of explanation, I have been attempting, for the past 121 days, to utter no complaints for 21 consecutive days. With just that bit of information, you can tell that my journey has been difficult. As a motiviating tool, I recently set the date of Sept 30th to reach this milestone. It seems to have helped.

My experience is not unusual according to Will Bowen, the creator of the Complaint Free movement. Most people, he says, take between 4 and 6 months. So, we’ll see if I make it to my destination this weekend. Stay tuned….

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In his book, A Complaint Free World, Bowen says, “….you begin to be aware of everything you are saying….because you are very careful when you speak. You are now talking in more positive terms because you are beginning to catch the words before they come out of your mouth. Your purple bracelet has gone from being a tool for realizing when you complain to being a filter through which your words pass before you speak them.” (p.87)

I have found this to be true. I am much more thoughtful about my comments in nearly all circumstances. I also have to say that my friends, coworkers, and family help keep me on track, too. Many have stopped in mid-conversation and said, “You’re not about to complain, are you?” I have found this to be helpful rather than intrusive, as might be the case with other people. It’s a personal thing, I guess. I have appreciated the assistance!

Bowen goes on to say, “You can best get what you desire by expressing what you want rather than complaining about the way things are.” And that is what brought me to this journey to begin with. I had been stuck in the mire of complaining about how things around me were, and that could be a life sentence, couldn’t it?

This morning I read from Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book, Coming to Our Senses. It fit perfectly with where I am on this journey:

“This capacity for paying attention and for intelligent action can be cultivated, nurtured, and refined beyond our wildest dreams if we have the motivation to do so…It is in our very nature as a species to learn and grow and heal and move toward greater wisdom in our ways of seeing and in our actions, and toward greater compassion for ourselves and others.”

See you tomorrow as I prepare for Sunday!

Day 106

Day 106: Real Time
Day 2: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


As hard as it is to admit, other writers sometimes just say it better than I ever could:

“All faces resemble each other, yet how easily we see in each uniqueness, individuality, an identity. How deeply we value these differences. The ocean is a whole, but is has countless waves, every one different from all the others; it has currents, each unique, ever-changing; the bottom is a landscape all its own, different everywhere; similarly the shoreline. The atmosphere is whole, but its currents have unique signatures, even though they are just wind. Life on earth is a whole, yet it expresses itself in unique time-bound bodies, microscopic or visible, plant or animal, extinct or living. So there can be no one place to be. There can be no one way to be, no one way to practice, no one way to learn, no one way to love, no one way to grow or to heal, no one way to live…….” Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are.

So, if there is “no one way,” can we legitimately complain about someone else’s chosen path?

To do so denies the reality of life. We must think about that the next time we are about to berate someone for how they express themselves, how they live or love.

Day 2

Day 44

Day 44: Real Time
Day 8: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go There You Are.


I guess my surfing lessons are going well. Things are calm and mellow in my life right now, although there are still challenges clamoring for my formerly crisis-induced rants.

Within 30 days I will be rid of the job that has been a thorn in my side for the past six months or so. My personal life is quiet, some might say boring. But for me right now, boring is a welcome respite from the chaos of the recent past.

To go into all of that with you would soon become complaint-ridden and we don’t want that, now, do we?

Before I took this challenge to become complaint-free, I had begun the attempt to be more mindful of the present moment. What I’m learning is that the two efforts have much in common.

“Of course, with continued practice and the right kind of gentle effort, calmness and mindfulness and equanimity develop and deepen on their own, out of your commitment to dwell in stillness and to observe without reacting and without judging.” P. 22-23, Wherever You Go There You Are.

See what I mean? If we can observe without judging, wouldn’t our critical, complaining eye be blinded? Then we will simply see the world as it exists in front of us, rather than having to create our own false reality. A reality that demands rearranging through criticism.

Surf's up! Day 8 dawns.