Day 44: Real Time
Day 8: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go There You Are.
I guess my surfing lessons are going well. Things are calm and mellow in my life right now, although there are still challenges clamoring for my formerly crisis-induced rants.
Within 30 days I will be rid of the job that has been a thorn in my side for the past six months or so. My personal life is quiet, some might say boring. But for me right now, boring is a welcome respite from the chaos of the recent past.
To go into all of that with you would soon become complaint-ridden and we don’t want that, now, do we?
Before I took this challenge to become complaint-free, I had begun the attempt to be more mindful of the present moment. What I’m learning is that the two efforts have much in common.
“Of course, with continued practice and the right kind of gentle effort, calmness and mindfulness and equanimity develop and deepen on their own, out of your commitment to dwell in stillness and to observe without reacting and without judging.” P. 22-23, Wherever You Go There You Are.
See what I mean? If we can observe without judging, wouldn’t our critical, complaining eye be blinded? Then we will simply see the world as it exists in front of us, rather than having to create our own false reality. A reality that demands rearranging through criticism.
Surf's up! Day 8 dawns.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Day 43
Day 43: Real Time
Day 7: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I've learned that complaining attracts attention. But it doesn’t empower the complainer.
Yesterday I took specific steps to resolve the sticky employment issue that has been dogging me. So instead of wasting energy complaining and boring everyone at the same time, I took responsibility for my situation.
It’s amazing how positive I feel today compared to last week when all this spiraled out of control. I chose a direction and took the first step on that path. It felt good.
And my bracelet is on the same wrist as it has been for six days!
Day 7: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I've learned that complaining attracts attention. But it doesn’t empower the complainer.
Yesterday I took specific steps to resolve the sticky employment issue that has been dogging me. So instead of wasting energy complaining and boring everyone at the same time, I took responsibility for my situation.
It’s amazing how positive I feel today compared to last week when all this spiraled out of control. I chose a direction and took the first step on that path. It felt good.
And my bracelet is on the same wrist as it has been for six days!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Day 42
Day 42: Real Time
Day 6: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I made it through another day!
And the pattern is becoming very clear to me as I move into my second month of attempting to be complaint-free. I’m fine as long as life is fine. What a revelation!
The hard part is dealing with the not so fine stuff. I’m sure that is obvious to everyone, but knowing and doing are two very different things. Don’t laugh and point your finger at me until you put your bracelet on, OK?
What challenges will I face this week, and have I learned anything from last week’s debacle? Can I control my complaining in the face of adversity, or will I fall in the chasm again when things go wrong?
My mom and I made the trip up to the National Cemetery where my dad is buried yesterday. It was the first time we had been up there since the burial and we were pleased to see that the headstone is already in place. This particular military cemetery has not been open for very long, maybe a couple of years, yet to see the long lines of identical white headstones, marching off into the distance, is breathtaking.
These men and women gave years of their lives to us in the form of service to our country. Some gave their lives. Regardless of your politics, it’s hard not to be affected by those white markers that represent lives with families and futures often cut short. Or men and women like my dad who served in WW II, veterans who will all be gone before too many more years.
The day again made me ask, “What in the world do I have to complain about?”
Day 6 awaits.
Day 6: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I made it through another day!
And the pattern is becoming very clear to me as I move into my second month of attempting to be complaint-free. I’m fine as long as life is fine. What a revelation!
The hard part is dealing with the not so fine stuff. I’m sure that is obvious to everyone, but knowing and doing are two very different things. Don’t laugh and point your finger at me until you put your bracelet on, OK?
What challenges will I face this week, and have I learned anything from last week’s debacle? Can I control my complaining in the face of adversity, or will I fall in the chasm again when things go wrong?
My mom and I made the trip up to the National Cemetery where my dad is buried yesterday. It was the first time we had been up there since the burial and we were pleased to see that the headstone is already in place. This particular military cemetery has not been open for very long, maybe a couple of years, yet to see the long lines of identical white headstones, marching off into the distance, is breathtaking.
These men and women gave years of their lives to us in the form of service to our country. Some gave their lives. Regardless of your politics, it’s hard not to be affected by those white markers that represent lives with families and futures often cut short. Or men and women like my dad who served in WW II, veterans who will all be gone before too many more years.
The day again made me ask, “What in the world do I have to complain about?”
Day 6 awaits.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Day 41
Day 41: Real Time
Day 5: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I had the opportunity to spread the word about the 21 Day Complaint Free challenge last night at a small social gathering. One of the people there reads this blog each day.
“Is that the purple bracelet?” He pointed to my left wrist as he asked this, as if there was a snake coiled around my hand. Through reading about my struggle to become a more positive person, he now understands the challenge the bracelet represents. And it’s a huge one.
Once people know what I’m doing, they begin to mentally put themselves in the position of going any length of time at all without complaining about…..well, anything. I can see the tiny wheels turning behind their eyes.
And most eventually say things like, “Wow, I don’t think I could do it!” or “I think everyone NEEDS to complain! It makes people fix things.”
At that point, I explain that a complaint is not a statement of fact about a situation, nor is it asking the perpetrator of an injustice or other shortfall to correct it.
It becomes a complaint when we rant and rave at someone who has no capability of fixing the offending event. And probably has no interest in the fact that WE are so upset about it. We do tend to go on about the unfairness of life and the injustices heaped on our poor little heads, don’t we? And if we’re honest, we have to admit that it brings us a lot of attention.
Let’s see if I can continue to tame the snake. I’m beginning Day 5!
Day 5: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I had the opportunity to spread the word about the 21 Day Complaint Free challenge last night at a small social gathering. One of the people there reads this blog each day.
“Is that the purple bracelet?” He pointed to my left wrist as he asked this, as if there was a snake coiled around my hand. Through reading about my struggle to become a more positive person, he now understands the challenge the bracelet represents. And it’s a huge one.
Once people know what I’m doing, they begin to mentally put themselves in the position of going any length of time at all without complaining about…..well, anything. I can see the tiny wheels turning behind their eyes.
And most eventually say things like, “Wow, I don’t think I could do it!” or “I think everyone NEEDS to complain! It makes people fix things.”
At that point, I explain that a complaint is not a statement of fact about a situation, nor is it asking the perpetrator of an injustice or other shortfall to correct it.
It becomes a complaint when we rant and rave at someone who has no capability of fixing the offending event. And probably has no interest in the fact that WE are so upset about it. We do tend to go on about the unfairness of life and the injustices heaped on our poor little heads, don’t we? And if we’re honest, we have to admit that it brings us a lot of attention.
Let’s see if I can continue to tame the snake. I’m beginning Day 5!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Day 40
Day 40: Real Time
Day 4: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
What would happen to our sorry complaining selves if we operated from this idea, every minute of every day:
This moment, the one we’re standing in right NOW, is all there is.
Think about that. Sit down, put your feet up and sip your morning coffee while you ponder that for a moment. I’ll wait.
OK. I’m back. Scary stuff, huh? But, I’m just reminding you that it’s the truth. The future that we’re all headed toward at break neck speed is not here yet, and it might never arrive. Life has a way of jerking us up just when we’re all comfy and complacent, and sometimes that jerk is pretty dramatic. It is a cliché, but the future is not guaranteed to any of us.
And the past is where we like to hang out when we’re complaining, isn't it?
“I can’t believe what they did!” I spent a lot of last week in that mode, and it caused me to waste a chunk of precious time. Time when I could have been enjoying the beauty of my garden, full of wildflowers with humming birds and butterflies, summer in formal dress.
Let’s get real pointed here: What if my life had suddenly ended while I was grousing about the event that tipped me into a tizzy on Monday evening? Is that how I would have wanted to step into the next realm, whatever that turns out to be?
And here I thought this journey of mine was only about going 21 days without complaining.
It’s turned out to be about how to enjoy each moment that has been bestowed on me, one second at a time, bright and shiny and new. And each one of them is the only one I can count on. It’s only scary if I ignore reality and stay stuck in the seconds that have already passed.
Day 4 is here!
Day 4: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
What would happen to our sorry complaining selves if we operated from this idea, every minute of every day:
This moment, the one we’re standing in right NOW, is all there is.
Think about that. Sit down, put your feet up and sip your morning coffee while you ponder that for a moment. I’ll wait.
OK. I’m back. Scary stuff, huh? But, I’m just reminding you that it’s the truth. The future that we’re all headed toward at break neck speed is not here yet, and it might never arrive. Life has a way of jerking us up just when we’re all comfy and complacent, and sometimes that jerk is pretty dramatic. It is a cliché, but the future is not guaranteed to any of us.
And the past is where we like to hang out when we’re complaining, isn't it?
“I can’t believe what they did!” I spent a lot of last week in that mode, and it caused me to waste a chunk of precious time. Time when I could have been enjoying the beauty of my garden, full of wildflowers with humming birds and butterflies, summer in formal dress.
Let’s get real pointed here: What if my life had suddenly ended while I was grousing about the event that tipped me into a tizzy on Monday evening? Is that how I would have wanted to step into the next realm, whatever that turns out to be?
And here I thought this journey of mine was only about going 21 days without complaining.
It’s turned out to be about how to enjoy each moment that has been bestowed on me, one second at a time, bright and shiny and new. And each one of them is the only one I can count on. It’s only scary if I ignore reality and stay stuck in the seconds that have already passed.
Day 4 is here!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Day 39
Day 39: Real Time
Day 3: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My purple bracelet remains in the same place!
The day was busy, but not stressful. Was that because of me or was it due to the events of the day? The nagging work issue continued to nag, but I didn’t fall prey to its razor-sharp teeth.
I mentioned yesterday that we always have a choice, even under adverse economic conditions. We can choose our particular brand of torture, even if it means ditching that employer and finding another way to make up that (tiny) bit of income. I’m industrious, if nothing else.
The difference internally is huge, too. I feel more positive in all regards when I curtail my complaints. And I notice the negative energy start crackling when I’m around someone who whines and moans as a matter of course, as so much of our society has adopted.
Is it a pervading sense of fear and distrust that has us in its grip?
Unless you get a purple bracelet!
www.acomplaintfreeworld.org
Day 3: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My purple bracelet remains in the same place!
The day was busy, but not stressful. Was that because of me or was it due to the events of the day? The nagging work issue continued to nag, but I didn’t fall prey to its razor-sharp teeth.
I mentioned yesterday that we always have a choice, even under adverse economic conditions. We can choose our particular brand of torture, even if it means ditching that employer and finding another way to make up that (tiny) bit of income. I’m industrious, if nothing else.
The difference internally is huge, too. I feel more positive in all regards when I curtail my complaints. And I notice the negative energy start crackling when I’m around someone who whines and moans as a matter of course, as so much of our society has adopted.
Is it a pervading sense of fear and distrust that has us in its grip?
Unless you get a purple bracelet!
www.acomplaintfreeworld.org
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Day 38
Day 38: Real Time
Day Two: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
The hot summer day swirled around me yesterday and tried to tease me into continuing my job-related rant that started Monday evening.
But I prevailed! I refused to be drawn into further negative discussion about it with those who had no stake in the situation. I pondered my choices, because we always have them. Sometimes those avenues aren’t immediately apparent to us, preferring to let us trip upon them when we aren’t dwelling on things. And then, like walking through a dark room in the middle of the night, we trip on an obvious solution. We just have to decide if we’re willing to do more than swear at it as we rub our stubbed toes.
Day Two today!
Day Two: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
The hot summer day swirled around me yesterday and tried to tease me into continuing my job-related rant that started Monday evening.
But I prevailed! I refused to be drawn into further negative discussion about it with those who had no stake in the situation. I pondered my choices, because we always have them. Sometimes those avenues aren’t immediately apparent to us, preferring to let us trip upon them when we aren’t dwelling on things. And then, like walking through a dark room in the middle of the night, we trip on an obvious solution. We just have to decide if we’re willing to do more than swear at it as we rub our stubbed toes.
Day Two today!
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