Day 125

Day 125: Real Time

A new day

Day 21: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey                   


Well, it’s been a ride, hasn’t it?

125 days ago, on May 17, I slid my bracelet on my wrist and accepted the challenge to go 21 consecutive days without complaining.

Today I reached DAY 21.

During the 125 days, my father died and I joined a faith community….both on the same day.

During the 125 days, I withstood threats to my livelihood by a huge bureaucracy that got entangled in their own paperwork and silliness, and I wasn’t paid for nearly 4 months.

During the 125 days, I went to work for another huge company (to try to make up for the situation mentioned above) and was reminded that appearances don't always tell the true story.

During the 125 days, I faced some of the most difficult days as a parent, and my child is 26 years old.

During the 125 days, I once made it all the way to Day 17 without complaining, a gripe slipped out, and I had to retreat to Day 1 again.

And again.

And again.

This journey has been one of the hardest I have ever taken, and I’ve taken some hard paths before, believe me. I’ve learned more about myself than I ever anticipated, and I know I am a better person for it. Will I never complain again? I’m better but I’m not stupid. Of course, I will. But it will be less than before, and that’s all I can ask of myself.

Many of you have encouraged me every step of this very difficult way, and I thank you for it from the bottom of my heart. You know who you are. I also had to step away from other people who were injecting only toxicity in my life, and I hate that I  had to let them go. But perhaps we're all better off for it. Friendships sometimes run their course and we must acknowledge and honor that, before all the memories are poisonous, too.

Thank you, too, to Will Bowen for writing the book that inspired me to be a better version of me. (I'm sure my friends and family thank you, too!)

I can see now that some people might face this challenge willingly, yet never make it. I wouldn’t be surprised, nor would I judge them. It is still worth it to try. Your life will never be the same.

If you don’t understand that, take the challenge yourself.

I’ll be your mentor.

Day 124

Day 124: Real Time

Day 20: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey

I’m almost there. One more day. This time, my confidence is complete, my goal within my fingertips on the other side of this very day.

I have much to think about today. This journey has been significant, life-altering, important in ways I never anticipated. And I’m sure I’m no different than others who have reached this milestone, too.

I still have much to learn about dealing with people, with life, without judging and whining. I view this journey as one that will continue beyond tomorrow’s milestone. After all, isn’t that what a milestone is? A marker. A place to assess where we are, how far we’ve come.

Until the next one shows up along our path. There is always another one.

" The challenge of a life’s time, to choose to cultivate these capacities for learning, growing, healing and transformation right in the midst of our moments, is also the adventure of a lifetime. It begins a journey toward realizing who we really are and living our lives as if they really mattered.” Jon Kabat-Zinn, Coming to Our Senses.



 Day 20. Have you sent the invitations to my congratulatory party yet?

The gate

Day 123

Day 123: Real Time

Strength

Day 19: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey                   

I didn’t realize what I had done until a few hours later. My new neighbor had flooring put in her house and wanted me to see it. (She had unexpectedly found a floor of brick underneath the carpeting when she moved in…can you imagine THAT nightmare?)

Anyway, we oohed and ahhed her beautiful new wood laminate for a few minutes, as good neighbors do when required. When we walked back outside, she mentioned that she had asked the elderly lady on the other side of the common area for a recommendation for a lawn mowing service.

Now, this elderly lady and I have had some issues over the years. That actually went through my mind at that moment, but I skipped over that mental image and never mentioned it to our new neighbor. And I had some stories I could have told, believe me.

In other words, I have reached the final stage of becoming complaint free: Unconscious competence. As I’ve said before, I’m generally not too fond of maneuvering through life in an “unconscious” mode (my experience to date being that bad things happen when I don’t know what I’m doing), but in this case….it’s a good thing! Without even making the decision to refrain from sharing those wonderful stories about the elderly neighbor, I automatically kept them to myself.

And didn’t even realize it until about two hours later.

Two more days. You can start planning the party for me now if you’d like!

Day 122

Day 122: Real Time
Day 18: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey                     


I was rejected again this week.

Before you laugh and point and say that I’ve just complained THREE DAYS before I reach my goal, let me explain.

I was 10 when my first piece of writing appeared in print, an article about the Blue Angels in the base military newspaper wherever my dad was stationed at the time. Although that article was not a creative piece of work, the process of etching words onto paper (even if I have made the switch to typing them onto a screen) has always satisfied me in the way that nothing else does. (Well, now that I’m older than 10, maybe one other thing, but I’ll write about that and send it elsewhere, away from prying little eyes, not all of which belong to children.)

I wasn’t raised in a family that encouraged the free expression of feelings. So I learned to let my emotions drip out onto the paper, word by word, hurt by hurt, my pen or pencil the magic wand that took me away and then brought me back when it was safe.

For reasons not important now, I did not pursue my passion for words when I journeyed off to college, instead earning a degree in education. My writing waned for decades, the sheer busyness of life chewing up time and spitting me out in the process, until three years ago when I stepped off the treadmill and said, “ENOUGH!” I mortgaged my home, even more than it was at the time, and retreated back to sanity, my peace of mind more valuable than….well, anything.

It was then that I began to write again. I self-published a book about single parenting, primarily because it was important that I saw my work in print. More importantly, I embraced my emotional life once more, dismantling the filter that I had erected so long ago, ever since I had put the pen down nearly 40 years ago. In order to pay the bills, I write curricula and other types of content that is more “wordsmithing” than creative, and I consult in areas that I mastered while a teacher. But, in the early dawn or dusk of a day, I also write in ways that are very satisfying to me, that I find are necessary for me to remain at peace and coherent within the context of my life. That type of writing has filled up dozens of notebooks and flash drives that, if nothing else, will be my legacy to my daughter.

I stopped submitting my work for about a year, the rejection grating on my spirit after a few years. (I’ve entered enough contests to finance a small yacht ; yes, those contests cost money to enter), and answered hundreds of calls for submissions. One piece was purchased by Teacher Magazine, but that's it. So, for the past year, I wrote but I didn’t share it with anyone.

And then, last week I sent in three pieces of work. And got an immediate rejection via email on one of those. I’m still waiting on the other two.

BUT I am again taking the risk of sharing my words, my heart with strangers. Because when you stop and think about it, don't writers write in order to be read?
And it feels good. No complaints here.

Three more days! Where are we going to celebrate?

Day 121

Day 121: Real Time

Almost there....

Day 17: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey        


Day 17.  If my plan holds, I will reach Day 21 this Sunday, Sept. 19th. For those of you who may have just stumbled on this column by accident, welcome! And by way of explanation, I have been attempting, for the past 121 days, to utter no complaints for 21 consecutive days. With just that bit of information, you can tell that my journey has been difficult. As a motiviating tool, I recently set the date of Sept 30th to reach this milestone. It seems to have helped.

My experience is not unusual according to Will Bowen, the creator of the Complaint Free movement. Most people, he says, take between 4 and 6 months. So, we’ll see if I make it to my destination this weekend. Stay tuned….

_________________________________________________________
In his book, A Complaint Free World, Bowen says, “….you begin to be aware of everything you are saying….because you are very careful when you speak. You are now talking in more positive terms because you are beginning to catch the words before they come out of your mouth. Your purple bracelet has gone from being a tool for realizing when you complain to being a filter through which your words pass before you speak them.” (p.87)

I have found this to be true. I am much more thoughtful about my comments in nearly all circumstances. I also have to say that my friends, coworkers, and family help keep me on track, too. Many have stopped in mid-conversation and said, “You’re not about to complain, are you?” I have found this to be helpful rather than intrusive, as might be the case with other people. It’s a personal thing, I guess. I have appreciated the assistance!

Bowen goes on to say, “You can best get what you desire by expressing what you want rather than complaining about the way things are.” And that is what brought me to this journey to begin with. I had been stuck in the mire of complaining about how things around me were, and that could be a life sentence, couldn’t it?

This morning I read from Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book, Coming to Our Senses. It fit perfectly with where I am on this journey:

“This capacity for paying attention and for intelligent action can be cultivated, nurtured, and refined beyond our wildest dreams if we have the motivation to do so…It is in our very nature as a species to learn and grow and heal and move toward greater wisdom in our ways of seeing and in our actions, and toward greater compassion for ourselves and others.”

See you tomorrow as I prepare for Sunday!

Day 120

Day 120: Real Time
Day 16: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


“Life intervenes,” I often say when trying to be encouraging to someone who is frustrated by life’s tendency to take its own path. We can be hard on ourselves, beating ourselves up when we become entangled in our lives, almost as if we should be perfect little widgets that operate without ever being oiled or rested.

Life intervened for me yesterday. My feet hit the floor before dawn, which in itself isn’t unusual, but I had to actually leave the house to be downtown, a 30 minute drive on a good traffic day, parked, and through a security check before 9 AM. My destination? The Youth Offender Diversion program here in our county where I was beginning a tour of duty as a volunteer mediator.

Without violating my strict code of ethics regarding confidentiality, I can say that my complaints begin a dramatic slide to the bottom of the scale of importance as I listen to these young people and their parents. I’m often griping about a flat tire or perceived slight while these children tell tales of drive-by shootings and abandonment. I am humbled in their presence, ashamed by my self-involvement and selfishness.

After my three hour session was over at noon, I was depleted, both mentally and physically. But, for the first time in a while, I felt that I had done some good for one or two young people. Maybe, just maybe, we had offered them a lifeline that would pull them back from the edge of losing themselves in a world that all too often must look very frightening and cold.

This blog didn’t get written yesterday. I returned home and dropped back into my regular schedule as much as possible, researching for an upcoming writing deadline and preparing for a meeting in my home later in the evening. I’m evolved enough now to face that empty slot on my list of entries as I document my complaint-free journey, shrug and say to myself, “Life intervened.”

Day16

(6 more days to go!)

Weathered but standing

                                                                          

Day 118

Day 118: Real Time


Day 14: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


“The next time someone offers you an opinion, rather than judge or criticize it, see if you can find a grain of truth in what the person is saying.”

                                    Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, Richard Carlson

My daughter surfed in a women’s surf contest yesterday. She’s been doing this since she was 12, paddling out among the dolphins, and yes, sometimes sharks. We may not see them, but we know they are there.

Kind of like the “grain of truth” Richard Carlson speaks of in the quote from his book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. We become so defensive when someone challenges our beliefs, don’t we? I think it’s indicative of a narrowing of our tolerance levels in this country, tolerance for those differences that don’t mesh with our own beliefs.

Dangerous stuff. Much more dangerous than most of us realize. Our country was founded on this very principle and we’re eroding it, piece by piece, opinion by opinion. Our skins need to be a lot thicker and we need to at least listen to strange and varied belief systems.

Like the surfers accept the sharks.

Day 14.

Day 117

Can you see?

Day 117: Real Time

Day 13: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey                   




Friendship.


Relationships.


Time.


Growth.


Acknowledging the truth.


Turning away from immediate gratification.


Acceptance.


              No need to complain, defend, or explain.


Day 13

Day 116

The Path

Day 116: Real Time                                                             
Day 12: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
        In other words: I have been attempting, for 116 days, to string together 21 consecutive “Complaint Free” days.


Yesterday began as a disjointed, discombobulated day for me. I had woken up at 1 AM, sleepily stumbled to the bathroom, had then fallen back into bed, ready to snooze until dawn. Well, that was the plan.

Sleep skittered away from me, though, my mind suddenly engaged in calisthenics, hopping from this thought to that worry to that mental “to do” list, back and forth. I tried to regain the velvety peace of rest, I really did.

“I’ll try to concentrate on my breathing. OK. One breath…..”

        “I can’t believe she said that to me today! What a crock…..”

“Wait! Back to the breath….one…two…..”

        “I have to remember to buy cat food tomorrow, it’s been two days that I’ve forgotten….”

“Stop! Go to the “floating in a pool” image...that usually works…..”

        “Remember that time I went to Daytona with [person X]! Wonder what happened to….”

“Darn….there I went again! OK. Picture the clouds, skittering through the blue sky, sun hot on my skin….Breathe, in, out, in……”

        “I really need to start submitting my work again, how can I expect to sell anything if….”

Well, you get the picture. I finally gave up around 4:30. My mind was working hard, so I got up and joined it at the computer, finishing an article ahead of deadline, my eyes gritty and sore from being open so long.

BUT…..I took a different road to the rest of the day than I usually do when I have one of these irritating nights of struggle.

I decided to act like it never happened. I dropped into my routine (although I did manage a nap in the middle of the day just because I could at that point, being self-employed is a wonderful thing), and did the best I could to regain my equilibrium rather than spin out of control and waste the rest of the day.

Restricting the complaints rather than spreading my angst to others. Choices. Progress.

Day 12.

Day 115

Day 115: Real Time

Whatever it takes.....

Day 11: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey                 


Remember my list from a month or so ago? It was the four topics that are certain to send me off the cliff, caustic complaints spewing as I tumble over the edge.

For those of you who have recently joined me on this journey and as a reminder to the rest of you, here is the list:


Our city government.

The educational system, both locally and nationally.

Incompetence in general.

Parents who don’t parent


I bring this up for a reason, as you’ve probably guessed by now. I visited the lair of #3 yesterday, and I must say, I did pretty well. I did some deep breathing as I parked my car, and then I sat and looked at clouds for a few minutes. That always helps me prepare to face the gnome who lives snarling and drooling in that particular dank cave.

While there, though, I ALMOST got snagged on the razor-sharp teeth of trying to explain that which cannot be explained with any sense or logic to someone who wouldn’t have heard it anyway. My mouth started to move, my hands began to flail around, and I started to speak. I’m sure I sounded like I was strangling. I managed, though, to gulp down those words, the ones that would have made not a whit of difference. The ones that would have put me back to Day 1 in a heartbeat.

I left as quickly as I could ride the elevator down and then practically ran to my car. That was close. The issue that took me there in the first place is still simmering and stewing, and may never be resolved. The fact that it involves my livelihood matters only to me. I learned a long time ago that no one is indispensible, and I also know that I am capable of doing whatever it takes to take care of things.

I avoided any discussion about that particular beast for the rest of the day. I stopped at my favorite deli and had breakfast, the smells of the bagels and other goodies enveloping me in warmth and their comforting carbs. Eating always helps. (Refer to earlier columns about my issues with food.)

During the afternoon, I took some steps to become free of the gnome in that building if it becomes necessary. Sometimes it pays off to live with labels like “Type A Personality” and that other female descriptor that cannot be printed here.

As I always taught my daughter: “Whatever it takes.” But, in any case, I can take it without complaining. I just proved it.

Day 11.

Day 114

Day 114: Real Time
Day 10: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey

As I sat in my morning sanctuary on Labor Day, the silence was huge. It had depth and was a palatable presence around me.

I’ve lived in my house for over 20 years. It sits at the southern end of this immense city, the one that often touts itself as the “largest” city in the US. (Depending on how many millions of trees you count, that might be true. But let’s not quibble.) It wasn’t until the nearby interstate grew a few more lanes in each direction a few years ago that I could hear the hollow sounds of traffic from my bedroom. All those tires whooshing by, the drivers of the cars oblivious to thousands of lives carrying on mere steps away from their rolled up windows.

So now, even on weekends, it is rare for the quiet to return. Maybe it has to do with wind patterns, too. I don’t know much about those things. But two days ago the silence was powerful, a fullness to it that could almost be touched. The cardinal’s single note call pierced the silence and then fell away, an aberration in the perfect stillness. How can the absence of sound be so vast?

Downsizing

Much like the mind. It has no structure that we can illustrate for a textbook about positive thinking, or any other kind of thinking for that matter. The falling away of the birdcalls in the perfect hush might be compared to the thoughts, including the criticisms, that appear in our minds.

If we allow it, they will fall away, too.

Day 10

Day 113

Day 113: Real Time
Day 9: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” Unknown


When I train young children to mediate conflicts among their peers, we spend several sessions learning how to listen. What, you say? We need training in listening?

Yes, I’m afraid so. Many times we mimic listening in order to be socially acceptable, but all we’re really doing is waiting for the other person to STOP TALKING so we can talk. Admit it….it’s true.

Being heard is something we all yearn for. The knowledge that we are understood and accepted anyway is a powerful thing, isn’t it?

We need to listen to each other with our eyes, not merely our ears, with our hearts and not just our minds. The next time you are engaged in a conversation, look into the person’s eyes and be totally present for them. That might be all they need from you.

Maybe we’ll find less to criticize, too.

Day 9.

Day 112

Day 112: Real Time
Day 8: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


I didn’t make it to the beach by dawn, which was my plan (and you know what they say about plans), but it was still early. Off I went, camera in hand, to get some photos to add to my collection.

Florida isn’t known for big surf, so those who enjoy that sort of thing have to take advantage whenever they can. These are the folks who venture out into the ocean when hurricanes brush by, duck diving into sheer walls of water to ride monsters back into shore. (My daughter is one of them.) A storm called Earl had passed near us early in the week, so they were hoping that he was still strong enough on the backside to offer more fun. It didn’t look like fun to me, but neither does “muddin’” and lots of people love that, too.

A number of years ago I drove the Pacific Coast Highway from Oakland to San Diego to attend a business meeting. The trip was magnificent. The Atlantic along Florida where I grew up is a meek cousin to the rawness of the California coastline, the ocean untamed with its rocky beaches and pounding surf. As I drove, it was necessary to keep an eye on my rear view mirror to make sure I wasn’t holding up traffic. After all, not everyone was from Florida, ogling the scenery. And it was when I looked behind me that I saw some of the most breathtaking sights.

I found myself pulling off the road to turn around and travel back the way I had just come….so I could see things from that perspective. Even though I had seen what I was seeing again, I hadn’t seen it quite that way at all.

Like so much in life that we complain about, wouldn’t you say? When someone really irritates me and I’m about to complain about them, I remember that trip. What is life looking like from this person’s shoes? I may never know, because very often we never share our personal horror with each other. Only the small frustrations, the things that we can gripe and grouse about with no real disclosure.

I nearly missed the meeting in San Diego.

Day 8.

Day 111

Day 111: Real Time
Day 7: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


I love football. There is something primal about its simplicity, a mirror of how life works if we take the time to look past the cheerleaders with their silly pom poms.

Knock me down? I’ll just jump back up and get ready for the next disaster. I might have to sit out a play or two, but don’t count me out of the game. I have too much at stake to be defeated.

And when it all comes together, that pass sailing toward the end zone in a perfect arc, or the running back churning through a solid wall of muscle, feet tearing up the turf, it’s a beautiful thing.

It takes effort, sheer guts, and the absolute will to succeed.

Just like life.

Fall and football….life is good.

Day 7, the beginning of my second week in my quest to make it to 21 consecutive days without complaining.

Day 110

Day 110: Real Time
Day 6: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


As daylight tiptoed in this morning, I sat and thought about the progression of my journey so far. In his book, “A Complaint Free World,” Will Bowen frames it in terms of 4 stages:

• Unconscious incompetence
• Conscious incompetence
• Conscious competence
• Unconscious competence

He describes each stage and gives anecdotes from his own journey as well as stories from others who have made (or attempted!) their 21 days to living a complaint free life. In other words, they have finally become unconsciously competent.

But my mind isn’t that orderly. And I’m a bit afraid to walk around unconscious on purpose.

I do know that when I started my FIRST Day 1, which was a long 110 days ago, my thinking was chaotic, undisciplined, frightened even, as I considered my goal. That lasted for several weeks, and during that time I found myself avoiding unnecessary communication with other people. If I don’t talk to them, I’m not complaining, am I? (Ah, but I could complain ABOUT them later!) Chaos.

Then I managed to stop complaining ABOUT them, but I still wasn’t back to more normal interaction. Several readers have mentioned this to me in emails about their own paths to becoming complaint free. And avoidance continued to work for me, too, even if it was short term.

Now I have reached a calmer, more interactive stage. I feel more confident in talking to people without complaining AND without complaining about them once I’m out of sight….and they are out of hearing distance from me. So, I guess you can say I’m more secure in not only my progress, but also in myself.

“A person who is insecure, who doubts their value and questions their importance, will brag and complain. They will tell of their accomplishments, hoping to see approval reflecting back to them……They will also complain about their challenges to get sympathy and as a way of excusing their not accomplishing something they desire.” Will Bowen, “A Complaint Free World,” p. 77.

People who make excuses about not having the life they want, blaming everyone else for their lot in life, from their birth order to their weight to how their parents raised them….now THAT’S a topic for another day!


College football starts today! A wonderful Day 6 ahead…..

Day 109

Day 109: Real Time
Day 5: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


Yesterday started for me before it had any right to be moving around. In fact, I was the only one moving at all. My back yard crew of birds and squirrels wasn’t up yet, and the sun still hadn’t begun to even think about peeking over my fence.

Sometime during the night I woke up and realized I didn’t know where my flash drive was. (Of course, we needn’t talk about why I was thinking about that in the middle of the night. If you’re over 50, I don’t need to say any more, do I? If you’re not, someday you’ll remember I said this.) The drive had my presentation on it for the teachers I was working with, and suddenly it was gone. In the middle of the night. When I should have been resting to prepare for a four hour session that I was doing…. alone.

But, there it was. The worry about an errant piece of equipment. Needless to say, I was up and out of my house while the birds were still snuggled up together in their nests dreaming of the yummy nut and raisin seed I buy them and the squirrels were dreaming important rodent dreams.

And I never did find that flash drive. Which meant I had to download the presentation onto another drive I keep in my desk drawer, the precious one that has family pictures on it. Then get my coffee (priorities, priorities) and off I went, still driving in the morning darkness to arrive in time to be set up and ready for the teachers at 8 AM.

Did you guess yet? We learned and laughed together, as anyone in education has to do in order to stay sane, and made lots of new friends to call on when we’re dejected and worn out. It was a great day.

And they loved the pictures!

Day 5

Day 108

Day 108: Real Time
Day 4: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey

Perspective. Context.

As in, “putting it in……” The context of our complaining is a fascinating study, once we start thinking about it.

Many of my friends have mentioned that they don’t think I’m a very negative, complaining person at all. So, why am I navigating this difficult 21-day complaint free journey, they ask?

Each of those people only experiences a small part of me. I am with me all the time; therefore, my perspective that I spend too much time complaining is the only accurate view.

Imagine if we kept that in mind about all our relationships. Do we ever know what we think we know…..completely?

“The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” Henry Miller

Visions and cars with a Z.....

Day 107: Real Time
Day 3: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


Will Bowen says in his book that we need to focus on our vision of the world rather than complain about what is happening around us at the moment.

Visions are great. Not the kind that appear at odd moments, seen only by you. Those are scary. But I find that if I envision something that I need to do, or something that I want, the acquisition of that dream falls into place rather quickly. I guess that’s why vision boards are so effective, a tool that is routinely touted by life coaches. Mine has James Brolin on it, but let’s move on quickly.

At this point in my life, my vision focuses on writing. I would like to write full time, while working at home with my two cats surrounding me. (And one of them literally rests his head on my hands as I type. He’s my muse.) My desk faces my back yard garden so I can watch the goings-on from my chair. There is a fountain right outside my window that refreshes a variety of wildlife…..as much wildlife as one would find in the midst of a huge urban area, but it amuses me just the same.

Vision wise, I would only leave this spot to eat, drink, and be merry. And being merry for me doesn’t involve much these days. Maybe buy jewelry and shoes once a week. No thoughts or worries about the price tags, a jaunt to the mall in the middle of the day (fewer young people with slouchy pants then) serving as my social interaction and supply chain for silver, gold, and comfy flats in all colors.

And I would get there in my Nissan Z car, whatever that model is called these days. I’ve been dreaming about that car for, literally, decades. I came THIS CLOSE to having one once, in the ‘80s, but life intervened. The kind that screams, WHY do you need such a vehicle when you want to go back to school?? (Now that I think about it, I did neither. There’s a lesson there somewhere, but I’ll think about that later.)

So, what is my convoluted point this morning, the one about my complaint-free journey? I can’t tell you about my day yesterday, because I would be complaining.

Not all of it. Some was OK, but we do tend to focus on the negative, don’t we, or we wouldn’t convene here. Will says to work toward our vision or we’ll get stuck in the muck of despair and blame, anything in order to explain why we don’t have what we want in life.

Maybe I’ll write that book outline I’ve been thinking about today.

And then visit a car dealership.

Day 3.