Day 118: Real Time
Day 14: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
“The next time someone offers you an opinion, rather than judge or criticize it, see if you can find a grain of truth in what the person is saying.”
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, Richard Carlson
My daughter surfed in a women’s surf contest yesterday. She’s been doing this since she was 12, paddling out among the dolphins, and yes, sometimes sharks. We may not see them, but we know they are there.
Kind of like the “grain of truth” Richard Carlson speaks of in the quote from his book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. We become so defensive when someone challenges our beliefs, don’t we? I think it’s indicative of a narrowing of our tolerance levels in this country, tolerance for those differences that don’t mesh with our own beliefs.
Dangerous stuff. Much more dangerous than most of us realize. Our country was founded on this very principle and we’re eroding it, piece by piece, opinion by opinion. Our skins need to be a lot thicker and we need to at least listen to strange and varied belief systems.
Like the surfers accept the sharks.
Day 14.
Showing posts with label don't sweat the small stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label don't sweat the small stuff. Show all posts
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Day 104
Day 104: Real Time
Day 13: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
(Just a quick reminder for those joining me at this point in my journey: I have been trying for 104 days to accomplish 21 consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. My longest streak so far has been 17days.)
Let’s talk about control. My strengths in the work world focus on organization and detail. Give me a project, then stand back. Therefore, I don’t do well with bosses or supervisors who are micromanagers or those who are unable to release THEIR control over everything within their domain. But I can organize the heck out of an event, and carry it through to completion.
My personal life sometimes suffers, though, due to this tendency toward control. Someone in my recent past put it this way: I have to know everything. And I would agree with that to a large degree. (I come by this trait genetically, but that is a totally different day’s topic!) I believe that I do know the most efficient, cost-effective way to do most things, and I don’t see why everyone wouldn’t want to know that. Even if I have to tap them sharply on the shoulder to get their attention and demand that they just LISTEN to me.
See the problem? It’s one I have tackled intentionally in recent years, and I think I’ve done so with some success. Often, I have to talk to myself to stop the cycle of controlling behavior, but I have broken that cycle in many ways.
And I must say, I’m happier and more content because of it. Those around me probably are, too. No surprise there, right? People don’t respond well to being criticized, corrected, and coerced based on how they do things.
Richard Carlson puts it this way in his book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” : "The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other. Whenever we are attached to having something a certain way….we are almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we are focused on what’s wrong with something and our need to fix it.”
So, if you see me off in a corner somewhere muttering to myself, I’m probably having a long heart-to-heart my control demon. It's best to leave me be for a while.
Day 14.
Day 13: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
(Just a quick reminder for those joining me at this point in my journey: I have been trying for 104 days to accomplish 21 consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. My longest streak so far has been 17days.)
Let’s talk about control. My strengths in the work world focus on organization and detail. Give me a project, then stand back. Therefore, I don’t do well with bosses or supervisors who are micromanagers or those who are unable to release THEIR control over everything within their domain. But I can organize the heck out of an event, and carry it through to completion.
My personal life sometimes suffers, though, due to this tendency toward control. Someone in my recent past put it this way: I have to know everything. And I would agree with that to a large degree. (I come by this trait genetically, but that is a totally different day’s topic!) I believe that I do know the most efficient, cost-effective way to do most things, and I don’t see why everyone wouldn’t want to know that. Even if I have to tap them sharply on the shoulder to get their attention and demand that they just LISTEN to me.
See the problem? It’s one I have tackled intentionally in recent years, and I think I’ve done so with some success. Often, I have to talk to myself to stop the cycle of controlling behavior, but I have broken that cycle in many ways.
And I must say, I’m happier and more content because of it. Those around me probably are, too. No surprise there, right? People don’t respond well to being criticized, corrected, and coerced based on how they do things.
Richard Carlson puts it this way in his book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” : "The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other. Whenever we are attached to having something a certain way….we are almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we are focused on what’s wrong with something and our need to fix it.”
So, if you see me off in a corner somewhere muttering to myself, I’m probably having a long heart-to-heart my control demon. It's best to leave me be for a while.
Day 14.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Day 83
Day 83: Real Time
Day 2: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
“….imagine that everyone you know and everyone you meet is perfectly enlightened. That is, everyone except you! The people you meet are all here to teach you something….Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you. You’ll find if you do this, you’ll be far less annoyed, bothered, and frustrated by the actions and imperfections of other people. All you are really doing is changing your perception from “Why are they doing this?” to “What are they trying to teach me?”
Richard Carlson, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”
What have others tried to teach YOU lately? Have you accepted their lessons or resisted their annoyances? I successfully managed to accept those around me yesterday, as I ran typical Saturday errands, did some gardening and reading, even got a short snooze in the afternoon while it rained outside my window.
Have a wonderful Sunday, enlightened friends!
Day 2: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
“….imagine that everyone you know and everyone you meet is perfectly enlightened. That is, everyone except you! The people you meet are all here to teach you something….Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you. You’ll find if you do this, you’ll be far less annoyed, bothered, and frustrated by the actions and imperfections of other people. All you are really doing is changing your perception from “Why are they doing this?” to “What are they trying to teach me?”
Richard Carlson, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”
What have others tried to teach YOU lately? Have you accepted their lessons or resisted their annoyances? I successfully managed to accept those around me yesterday, as I ran typical Saturday errands, did some gardening and reading, even got a short snooze in the afternoon while it rained outside my window.
Have a wonderful Sunday, enlightened friends!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Day 70
Day 70: Real Time
Day 14: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
"Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren't really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion.....Rather than let it go, and go on with our day, we convince ourselves that we are justified in our anger. We play out an imaginary confrontation in our mind. Many of us even tell someone else about the incident later on rather than simply let it go." Richard Carlson, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and It's All Small Stuff."
It's amazing to me how these bits of wisdom show up on my doorstep at exactly the right time. I can justify my anger with the best of them, and generally I am compelled to share it with a nearby ear.
Once I do that, however, I am no longer living the present moment. I am stuck in the past, reliving the irritation over and over again. Those car repairs keep driving by, shooting out the windows of whatever calm I might have finally achieved. Previous conversations with irritating folks get stuck in a groove, skipping over the good that is happening right in front of me.
I must be getting more adept at avoiding the drama, though. I'm beginning Day 14 on my 21 day quest. The quest that is actually one of a life of honoring the present moment.
Day 14: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
"Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren't really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion.....Rather than let it go, and go on with our day, we convince ourselves that we are justified in our anger. We play out an imaginary confrontation in our mind. Many of us even tell someone else about the incident later on rather than simply let it go." Richard Carlson, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and It's All Small Stuff."
It's amazing to me how these bits of wisdom show up on my doorstep at exactly the right time. I can justify my anger with the best of them, and generally I am compelled to share it with a nearby ear.
Once I do that, however, I am no longer living the present moment. I am stuck in the past, reliving the irritation over and over again. Those car repairs keep driving by, shooting out the windows of whatever calm I might have finally achieved. Previous conversations with irritating folks get stuck in a groove, skipping over the good that is happening right in front of me.
I must be getting more adept at avoiding the drama, though. I'm beginning Day 14 on my 21 day quest. The quest that is actually one of a life of honoring the present moment.
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