Day 110

Day 110: Real Time
Day 6: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


As daylight tiptoed in this morning, I sat and thought about the progression of my journey so far. In his book, “A Complaint Free World,” Will Bowen frames it in terms of 4 stages:

• Unconscious incompetence
• Conscious incompetence
• Conscious competence
• Unconscious competence

He describes each stage and gives anecdotes from his own journey as well as stories from others who have made (or attempted!) their 21 days to living a complaint free life. In other words, they have finally become unconsciously competent.

But my mind isn’t that orderly. And I’m a bit afraid to walk around unconscious on purpose.

I do know that when I started my FIRST Day 1, which was a long 110 days ago, my thinking was chaotic, undisciplined, frightened even, as I considered my goal. That lasted for several weeks, and during that time I found myself avoiding unnecessary communication with other people. If I don’t talk to them, I’m not complaining, am I? (Ah, but I could complain ABOUT them later!) Chaos.

Then I managed to stop complaining ABOUT them, but I still wasn’t back to more normal interaction. Several readers have mentioned this to me in emails about their own paths to becoming complaint free. And avoidance continued to work for me, too, even if it was short term.

Now I have reached a calmer, more interactive stage. I feel more confident in talking to people without complaining AND without complaining about them once I’m out of sight….and they are out of hearing distance from me. So, I guess you can say I’m more secure in not only my progress, but also in myself.

“A person who is insecure, who doubts their value and questions their importance, will brag and complain. They will tell of their accomplishments, hoping to see approval reflecting back to them……They will also complain about their challenges to get sympathy and as a way of excusing their not accomplishing something they desire.” Will Bowen, “A Complaint Free World,” p. 77.

People who make excuses about not having the life they want, blaming everyone else for their lot in life, from their birth order to their weight to how their parents raised them….now THAT’S a topic for another day!


College football starts today! A wonderful Day 6 ahead…..