Day 104

Day 104: Real Time
Day 13: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey


(Just a quick reminder for those joining me at this point in my journey: I have been trying for 104 days to accomplish 21 consecutive days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping. My longest streak so far has been 17days.)

Let’s talk about control. My strengths in the work world focus on organization and detail. Give me a project, then stand back. Therefore, I don’t do well with bosses or supervisors who are micromanagers or those who are unable to release THEIR control over everything within their domain. But I can organize the heck out of an event, and carry it through to completion.

My personal life sometimes suffers, though, due to this tendency toward control. Someone in my recent past put it this way: I have to know everything. And I would agree with that to a large degree. (I come by this trait genetically, but that is a totally different day’s topic!) I believe that I do know the most efficient, cost-effective way to do most things, and I don’t see why everyone wouldn’t want to know that. Even if I have to tap them sharply on the shoulder to get their attention and demand that they just LISTEN to me.

See the problem? It’s one I have tackled intentionally in recent years, and I think I’ve done so with some success. Often, I have to talk to myself to stop the cycle of controlling behavior, but I have broken that cycle in many ways.

And I must say, I’m happier and more content because of it. Those around me probably are, too. No surprise there, right? People don’t respond well to being criticized, corrected, and coerced based on how they do things.

Richard Carlson puts it this way in his book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” : "The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other. Whenever we are attached to having something a certain way….we are almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we are focused on what’s wrong with something and our need to fix it.”

So, if you see me off in a corner somewhere muttering to myself, I’m probably having a long heart-to-heart my control demon. It's best to leave me be for a while.

Day 14.