Day 44: Real Time
Day 8: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go There You Are.
I guess my surfing lessons are going well. Things are calm and mellow in my life right now, although there are still challenges clamoring for my formerly crisis-induced rants.
Within 30 days I will be rid of the job that has been a thorn in my side for the past six months or so. My personal life is quiet, some might say boring. But for me right now, boring is a welcome respite from the chaos of the recent past.
To go into all of that with you would soon become complaint-ridden and we don’t want that, now, do we?
Before I took this challenge to become complaint-free, I had begun the attempt to be more mindful of the present moment. What I’m learning is that the two efforts have much in common.
“Of course, with continued practice and the right kind of gentle effort, calmness and mindfulness and equanimity develop and deepen on their own, out of your commitment to dwell in stillness and to observe without reacting and without judging.” P. 22-23, Wherever You Go There You Are.
See what I mean? If we can observe without judging, wouldn’t our critical, complaining eye be blinded? Then we will simply see the world as it exists in front of us, rather than having to create our own false reality. A reality that demands rearranging through criticism.
Surf's up! Day 8 dawns.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Day 43
Day 43: Real Time
Day 7: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I've learned that complaining attracts attention. But it doesn’t empower the complainer.
Yesterday I took specific steps to resolve the sticky employment issue that has been dogging me. So instead of wasting energy complaining and boring everyone at the same time, I took responsibility for my situation.
It’s amazing how positive I feel today compared to last week when all this spiraled out of control. I chose a direction and took the first step on that path. It felt good.
And my bracelet is on the same wrist as it has been for six days!
Day 7: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I've learned that complaining attracts attention. But it doesn’t empower the complainer.
Yesterday I took specific steps to resolve the sticky employment issue that has been dogging me. So instead of wasting energy complaining and boring everyone at the same time, I took responsibility for my situation.
It’s amazing how positive I feel today compared to last week when all this spiraled out of control. I chose a direction and took the first step on that path. It felt good.
And my bracelet is on the same wrist as it has been for six days!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Day 42
Day 42: Real Time
Day 6: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I made it through another day!
And the pattern is becoming very clear to me as I move into my second month of attempting to be complaint-free. I’m fine as long as life is fine. What a revelation!
The hard part is dealing with the not so fine stuff. I’m sure that is obvious to everyone, but knowing and doing are two very different things. Don’t laugh and point your finger at me until you put your bracelet on, OK?
What challenges will I face this week, and have I learned anything from last week’s debacle? Can I control my complaining in the face of adversity, or will I fall in the chasm again when things go wrong?
My mom and I made the trip up to the National Cemetery where my dad is buried yesterday. It was the first time we had been up there since the burial and we were pleased to see that the headstone is already in place. This particular military cemetery has not been open for very long, maybe a couple of years, yet to see the long lines of identical white headstones, marching off into the distance, is breathtaking.
These men and women gave years of their lives to us in the form of service to our country. Some gave their lives. Regardless of your politics, it’s hard not to be affected by those white markers that represent lives with families and futures often cut short. Or men and women like my dad who served in WW II, veterans who will all be gone before too many more years.
The day again made me ask, “What in the world do I have to complain about?”
Day 6 awaits.
Day 6: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I made it through another day!
And the pattern is becoming very clear to me as I move into my second month of attempting to be complaint-free. I’m fine as long as life is fine. What a revelation!
The hard part is dealing with the not so fine stuff. I’m sure that is obvious to everyone, but knowing and doing are two very different things. Don’t laugh and point your finger at me until you put your bracelet on, OK?
What challenges will I face this week, and have I learned anything from last week’s debacle? Can I control my complaining in the face of adversity, or will I fall in the chasm again when things go wrong?
My mom and I made the trip up to the National Cemetery where my dad is buried yesterday. It was the first time we had been up there since the burial and we were pleased to see that the headstone is already in place. This particular military cemetery has not been open for very long, maybe a couple of years, yet to see the long lines of identical white headstones, marching off into the distance, is breathtaking.
These men and women gave years of their lives to us in the form of service to our country. Some gave their lives. Regardless of your politics, it’s hard not to be affected by those white markers that represent lives with families and futures often cut short. Or men and women like my dad who served in WW II, veterans who will all be gone before too many more years.
The day again made me ask, “What in the world do I have to complain about?”
Day 6 awaits.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Day 41
Day 41: Real Time
Day 5: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I had the opportunity to spread the word about the 21 Day Complaint Free challenge last night at a small social gathering. One of the people there reads this blog each day.
“Is that the purple bracelet?” He pointed to my left wrist as he asked this, as if there was a snake coiled around my hand. Through reading about my struggle to become a more positive person, he now understands the challenge the bracelet represents. And it’s a huge one.
Once people know what I’m doing, they begin to mentally put themselves in the position of going any length of time at all without complaining about…..well, anything. I can see the tiny wheels turning behind their eyes.
And most eventually say things like, “Wow, I don’t think I could do it!” or “I think everyone NEEDS to complain! It makes people fix things.”
At that point, I explain that a complaint is not a statement of fact about a situation, nor is it asking the perpetrator of an injustice or other shortfall to correct it.
It becomes a complaint when we rant and rave at someone who has no capability of fixing the offending event. And probably has no interest in the fact that WE are so upset about it. We do tend to go on about the unfairness of life and the injustices heaped on our poor little heads, don’t we? And if we’re honest, we have to admit that it brings us a lot of attention.
Let’s see if I can continue to tame the snake. I’m beginning Day 5!
Day 5: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I had the opportunity to spread the word about the 21 Day Complaint Free challenge last night at a small social gathering. One of the people there reads this blog each day.
“Is that the purple bracelet?” He pointed to my left wrist as he asked this, as if there was a snake coiled around my hand. Through reading about my struggle to become a more positive person, he now understands the challenge the bracelet represents. And it’s a huge one.
Once people know what I’m doing, they begin to mentally put themselves in the position of going any length of time at all without complaining about…..well, anything. I can see the tiny wheels turning behind their eyes.
And most eventually say things like, “Wow, I don’t think I could do it!” or “I think everyone NEEDS to complain! It makes people fix things.”
At that point, I explain that a complaint is not a statement of fact about a situation, nor is it asking the perpetrator of an injustice or other shortfall to correct it.
It becomes a complaint when we rant and rave at someone who has no capability of fixing the offending event. And probably has no interest in the fact that WE are so upset about it. We do tend to go on about the unfairness of life and the injustices heaped on our poor little heads, don’t we? And if we’re honest, we have to admit that it brings us a lot of attention.
Let’s see if I can continue to tame the snake. I’m beginning Day 5!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Day 40
Day 40: Real Time
Day 4: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
What would happen to our sorry complaining selves if we operated from this idea, every minute of every day:
This moment, the one we’re standing in right NOW, is all there is.
Think about that. Sit down, put your feet up and sip your morning coffee while you ponder that for a moment. I’ll wait.
OK. I’m back. Scary stuff, huh? But, I’m just reminding you that it’s the truth. The future that we’re all headed toward at break neck speed is not here yet, and it might never arrive. Life has a way of jerking us up just when we’re all comfy and complacent, and sometimes that jerk is pretty dramatic. It is a cliché, but the future is not guaranteed to any of us.
And the past is where we like to hang out when we’re complaining, isn't it?
“I can’t believe what they did!” I spent a lot of last week in that mode, and it caused me to waste a chunk of precious time. Time when I could have been enjoying the beauty of my garden, full of wildflowers with humming birds and butterflies, summer in formal dress.
Let’s get real pointed here: What if my life had suddenly ended while I was grousing about the event that tipped me into a tizzy on Monday evening? Is that how I would have wanted to step into the next realm, whatever that turns out to be?
And here I thought this journey of mine was only about going 21 days without complaining.
It’s turned out to be about how to enjoy each moment that has been bestowed on me, one second at a time, bright and shiny and new. And each one of them is the only one I can count on. It’s only scary if I ignore reality and stay stuck in the seconds that have already passed.
Day 4 is here!
Day 4: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
What would happen to our sorry complaining selves if we operated from this idea, every minute of every day:
This moment, the one we’re standing in right NOW, is all there is.
Think about that. Sit down, put your feet up and sip your morning coffee while you ponder that for a moment. I’ll wait.
OK. I’m back. Scary stuff, huh? But, I’m just reminding you that it’s the truth. The future that we’re all headed toward at break neck speed is not here yet, and it might never arrive. Life has a way of jerking us up just when we’re all comfy and complacent, and sometimes that jerk is pretty dramatic. It is a cliché, but the future is not guaranteed to any of us.
And the past is where we like to hang out when we’re complaining, isn't it?
“I can’t believe what they did!” I spent a lot of last week in that mode, and it caused me to waste a chunk of precious time. Time when I could have been enjoying the beauty of my garden, full of wildflowers with humming birds and butterflies, summer in formal dress.
Let’s get real pointed here: What if my life had suddenly ended while I was grousing about the event that tipped me into a tizzy on Monday evening? Is that how I would have wanted to step into the next realm, whatever that turns out to be?
And here I thought this journey of mine was only about going 21 days without complaining.
It’s turned out to be about how to enjoy each moment that has been bestowed on me, one second at a time, bright and shiny and new. And each one of them is the only one I can count on. It’s only scary if I ignore reality and stay stuck in the seconds that have already passed.
Day 4 is here!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Day 39
Day 39: Real Time
Day 3: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My purple bracelet remains in the same place!
The day was busy, but not stressful. Was that because of me or was it due to the events of the day? The nagging work issue continued to nag, but I didn’t fall prey to its razor-sharp teeth.
I mentioned yesterday that we always have a choice, even under adverse economic conditions. We can choose our particular brand of torture, even if it means ditching that employer and finding another way to make up that (tiny) bit of income. I’m industrious, if nothing else.
The difference internally is huge, too. I feel more positive in all regards when I curtail my complaints. And I notice the negative energy start crackling when I’m around someone who whines and moans as a matter of course, as so much of our society has adopted.
Is it a pervading sense of fear and distrust that has us in its grip?
Unless you get a purple bracelet!
www.acomplaintfreeworld.org
Day 3: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My purple bracelet remains in the same place!
The day was busy, but not stressful. Was that because of me or was it due to the events of the day? The nagging work issue continued to nag, but I didn’t fall prey to its razor-sharp teeth.
I mentioned yesterday that we always have a choice, even under adverse economic conditions. We can choose our particular brand of torture, even if it means ditching that employer and finding another way to make up that (tiny) bit of income. I’m industrious, if nothing else.
The difference internally is huge, too. I feel more positive in all regards when I curtail my complaints. And I notice the negative energy start crackling when I’m around someone who whines and moans as a matter of course, as so much of our society has adopted.
Is it a pervading sense of fear and distrust that has us in its grip?
Unless you get a purple bracelet!
www.acomplaintfreeworld.org
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Day 38
Day 38: Real Time
Day Two: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
The hot summer day swirled around me yesterday and tried to tease me into continuing my job-related rant that started Monday evening.
But I prevailed! I refused to be drawn into further negative discussion about it with those who had no stake in the situation. I pondered my choices, because we always have them. Sometimes those avenues aren’t immediately apparent to us, preferring to let us trip upon them when we aren’t dwelling on things. And then, like walking through a dark room in the middle of the night, we trip on an obvious solution. We just have to decide if we’re willing to do more than swear at it as we rub our stubbed toes.
Day Two today!
Day Two: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
The hot summer day swirled around me yesterday and tried to tease me into continuing my job-related rant that started Monday evening.
But I prevailed! I refused to be drawn into further negative discussion about it with those who had no stake in the situation. I pondered my choices, because we always have them. Sometimes those avenues aren’t immediately apparent to us, preferring to let us trip upon them when we aren’t dwelling on things. And then, like walking through a dark room in the middle of the night, we trip on an obvious solution. We just have to decide if we’re willing to do more than swear at it as we rub our stubbed toes.
Day Two today!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Day 37
Day 37: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I spent a lot of yesterday trying to wipe the backsplash off from the night before. Which means I did a lot more moaning about it, of course. Day One redeux.
I just couldn’t seem to help myself. Why is that, though?
In asking myself that question, I find that I have to try to tap into the emotions that are generated as I’m relating a difficult situation to others who have nothing to do with what happened or why. That’s tough, but also enlightening.
It makes me feel RIGHT. And when my friends and family jump on that train with me, I feel VINDICATED. My outrage rises up and demands to be recognized, demands to be affirmed.
Not a pretty sight. And perhaps not one of my better qualities.
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I spent a lot of yesterday trying to wipe the backsplash off from the night before. Which means I did a lot more moaning about it, of course. Day One redeux.
I just couldn’t seem to help myself. Why is that, though?
In asking myself that question, I find that I have to try to tap into the emotions that are generated as I’m relating a difficult situation to others who have nothing to do with what happened or why. That’s tough, but also enlightening.
It makes me feel RIGHT. And when my friends and family jump on that train with me, I feel VINDICATED. My outrage rises up and demands to be recognized, demands to be affirmed.
Not a pretty sight. And perhaps not one of my better qualities.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Day 36
Day 36: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I’m back to Day One.
And I’m at a loss. For the first time, my doubt for a successful 21 days….ever….is rattling me.
“Our actions are all too frequently driven rather than undertaken in awareness, driven by those perfectly ordinary thoughts and impulses that run through the mind like a coursing river…..We get caught up in the torrent and it winds up submerging our lives as it carries us to places we may not wish to go….”
That passage is from Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book called “Wherever You Go There You Are.” I’m reading it for the second time right now, and it looks like I might have to read it perpetually into my future.
I faced a work-related situation last night that is defeating me right now in my quest to go 21 days without complaint. Without making this a complaint in itself, let’s just say that the events that unfolded between 5:30 and 7:30 yesterday evening were so unprofessional and infuriating that it was impossible for me….literally impossible….NOT to process it with other people. And they were NOT folks who could fix the problem in any way.
They WERE people who care about me and are willing to listen to whatever I had to say as I literally tore into those who caused the problem. I don’t know what else I could have done. I needed to talk about it. I simply had to talk about it.
So, here I sit today, still seething. I’m "submerged in the torrent and going to places I don’t want to go" in my emotions and my thoughts about my employment with this company.
Day One….again.
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I’m back to Day One.
And I’m at a loss. For the first time, my doubt for a successful 21 days….ever….is rattling me.
“Our actions are all too frequently driven rather than undertaken in awareness, driven by those perfectly ordinary thoughts and impulses that run through the mind like a coursing river…..We get caught up in the torrent and it winds up submerging our lives as it carries us to places we may not wish to go….”
That passage is from Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book called “Wherever You Go There You Are.” I’m reading it for the second time right now, and it looks like I might have to read it perpetually into my future.
I faced a work-related situation last night that is defeating me right now in my quest to go 21 days without complaint. Without making this a complaint in itself, let’s just say that the events that unfolded between 5:30 and 7:30 yesterday evening were so unprofessional and infuriating that it was impossible for me….literally impossible….NOT to process it with other people. And they were NOT folks who could fix the problem in any way.
They WERE people who care about me and are willing to listen to whatever I had to say as I literally tore into those who caused the problem. I don’t know what else I could have done. I needed to talk about it. I simply had to talk about it.
So, here I sit today, still seething. I’m "submerged in the torrent and going to places I don’t want to go" in my emotions and my thoughts about my employment with this company.
Day One….again.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Day 35
Day 35: Real Time
Day Four: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My cousin from St. Augustine and I drove back down to south Florida to pick up my mom yesterday. She was visiting with her sister, who is my cousin’s mother.
My family hasn’t been very close over the years, for many reasons that aren’t important as I practice becoming a more conscious human being. All I know is that my dad’s recent death has brought many of these folks back into my life.
We had a great trip down, talking again about our individual journeys with relationships and life in general. It’s been a long time, decades actually, since we’ve had that opportunity.
And although we drove a total of almost 8 hours with hundreds of other travelers along I-95 in Florida in June, we managed to do it without complaint. We shared, we commiserated, we explained, we wondered. But we didn’t feel the need to complain.
On to Day Four!
Day Four: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My cousin from St. Augustine and I drove back down to south Florida to pick up my mom yesterday. She was visiting with her sister, who is my cousin’s mother.
My family hasn’t been very close over the years, for many reasons that aren’t important as I practice becoming a more conscious human being. All I know is that my dad’s recent death has brought many of these folks back into my life.
We had a great trip down, talking again about our individual journeys with relationships and life in general. It’s been a long time, decades actually, since we’ve had that opportunity.
And although we drove a total of almost 8 hours with hundreds of other travelers along I-95 in Florida in June, we managed to do it without complaint. We shared, we commiserated, we explained, we wondered. But we didn’t feel the need to complain.
On to Day Four!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Day 34
Day 34: Real Time
Day Three: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My censor has returned from its mini-vacation.
I attended a wonderful retirement event last night for a co-worker, and was seated next to a woman who had also recently retired from our industry. We had met along the way over the years in the course of our work, but had never carried on a conversation of any length.
We re-introduced ourselves and chatted as people do who are seated next to each other at such affairs. As our sharing progressed, she began to relate her own journey in our company. My old self wanted to pop in here and there to “up” her story with my own tales of woe. My new censor took my hand and quietly whispered in my ear, “Just listen.”
The result of the evening was honoring a great friend and co-worker as she retired after 37 years, and also gaining another new friend. Our conversation was not bogged down with one-upmanship and she probably thinks I’m the best listener ever.
Locking my keys in the car was an added bonus, as everything worked out perfectly. And Will Bowen is exclaiming, “Of course!”
On to Day Three!
Day Three: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My censor has returned from its mini-vacation.
I attended a wonderful retirement event last night for a co-worker, and was seated next to a woman who had also recently retired from our industry. We had met along the way over the years in the course of our work, but had never carried on a conversation of any length.
We re-introduced ourselves and chatted as people do who are seated next to each other at such affairs. As our sharing progressed, she began to relate her own journey in our company. My old self wanted to pop in here and there to “up” her story with my own tales of woe. My new censor took my hand and quietly whispered in my ear, “Just listen.”
The result of the evening was honoring a great friend and co-worker as she retired after 37 years, and also gaining another new friend. Our conversation was not bogged down with one-upmanship and she probably thinks I’m the best listener ever.
Locking my keys in the car was an added bonus, as everything worked out perfectly. And Will Bowen is exclaiming, “Of course!”
On to Day Three!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Day 33
Day 33: Real Time
Day Two: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My fingers rest on the keyboard as I mentally scroll through my day yesterday. The purple bracelet remains on the same wrist it started out on before dawn, but I have started to distrust my ability to turn out the light at bedtime without a complaint escaping.
But I guess I did.
We should take more lessons from our animals. My Siamese is literally resting his chin on my hands as I try to type this entry on my 21 day journey to becoming complaint free. I think he waits in the hallway, hidden in a shadowy pocket behind a door or something, until he hears the clacking of the keys when I start to type. He appears soon after, jumps into my lap, and lays his head between my hands.
I watch my cats sometimes, paws and bellies up in the air, lying like dead stuffed toys in a pool of sunlight. When I walk by, the Siamese opens a blue eye and my recent coal black addition to the household opens a startling amber eye to make sure I’m staying in the right place. And then they drift off again to wherever cats go in their dreams.
Complaints, though? Not a one. They eat when they eat, sleep when they sleep, play when it’s convenient. They are totally in the moment, so grousing just isn’t part of their equation.
I’ll play in the sunlight today as I attempt another Day Two. If I feel the need to complain, I’ll find a shadow behind a door to hide in until the urge passes.
Day Two: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My fingers rest on the keyboard as I mentally scroll through my day yesterday. The purple bracelet remains on the same wrist it started out on before dawn, but I have started to distrust my ability to turn out the light at bedtime without a complaint escaping.
But I guess I did.
We should take more lessons from our animals. My Siamese is literally resting his chin on my hands as I try to type this entry on my 21 day journey to becoming complaint free. I think he waits in the hallway, hidden in a shadowy pocket behind a door or something, until he hears the clacking of the keys when I start to type. He appears soon after, jumps into my lap, and lays his head between my hands.
I watch my cats sometimes, paws and bellies up in the air, lying like dead stuffed toys in a pool of sunlight. When I walk by, the Siamese opens a blue eye and my recent coal black addition to the household opens a startling amber eye to make sure I’m staying in the right place. And then they drift off again to wherever cats go in their dreams.
Complaints, though? Not a one. They eat when they eat, sleep when they sleep, play when it’s convenient. They are totally in the moment, so grousing just isn’t part of their equation.
I’ll play in the sunlight today as I attempt another Day Two. If I feel the need to complain, I’ll find a shadow behind a door to hide in until the urge passes.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Day 32
Day 32: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
OK…..let’s get this out of the way right up front. I blew it yesterday.
There are two nagging issues that got me again. The first one was early in the day when I was “sharing” with a peer about a work-related conundrum that truly irritates me.
And then it was the car thing again.
I’ve got to get off these topics.
I visited with my cousin and his lady in St. Augustine yesterday evening. We walked up the street from their apartment to Scarlett’s for beer and wings, one of my favorite things to do in the Oldest City. It was too hot to sit on the porch and watch the tourists watch us eating, but it was a great visit.
I caught them up on my dad’s last week at hospice, so there were only accolades there for that wonderful organization. No complaints.
That led to a philosophical discussion about life and death. The three of us are probably a bit countercultural for NE Florida, so it’s nice to have like-minded folks to talk to once in a while. No complaints there, either.
I thought about my day as I drove back to Jacksonville. When a discussion is shallow and whiny, the complaints come freely. Our conversation gets stuck in the mundane and small. But when we get into truly significant areas of the human experience, the level of discourse becomes more significant, too.
Complaints seem to be easier, don’t they? They don’t require much intellectual exercise.
There is a quote I’ve always loved, although I don’t remember its exact wording right now. Something like, “Little minds talk about people…..while great minds talk about ideas.” There’s more in the middle, but you get the point. Complaining falls in that first “small” category, don’t you think?
When we raise the level of our intellectual effort, our complaining just might lose its home.
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
OK…..let’s get this out of the way right up front. I blew it yesterday.
There are two nagging issues that got me again. The first one was early in the day when I was “sharing” with a peer about a work-related conundrum that truly irritates me.
And then it was the car thing again.
I’ve got to get off these topics.
I visited with my cousin and his lady in St. Augustine yesterday evening. We walked up the street from their apartment to Scarlett’s for beer and wings, one of my favorite things to do in the Oldest City. It was too hot to sit on the porch and watch the tourists watch us eating, but it was a great visit.
I caught them up on my dad’s last week at hospice, so there were only accolades there for that wonderful organization. No complaints.
That led to a philosophical discussion about life and death. The three of us are probably a bit countercultural for NE Florida, so it’s nice to have like-minded folks to talk to once in a while. No complaints there, either.
I thought about my day as I drove back to Jacksonville. When a discussion is shallow and whiny, the complaints come freely. Our conversation gets stuck in the mundane and small. But when we get into truly significant areas of the human experience, the level of discourse becomes more significant, too.
Complaints seem to be easier, don’t they? They don’t require much intellectual exercise.
There is a quote I’ve always loved, although I don’t remember its exact wording right now. Something like, “Little minds talk about people…..while great minds talk about ideas.” There’s more in the middle, but you get the point. Complaining falls in that first “small” category, don’t you think?
When we raise the level of our intellectual effort, our complaining just might lose its home.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Day 31
Day 31: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I got my car fixed yesterday.
Finally.
Some statements of fact:
• I had had the car in to one repair shop a few months ago for the same thing.
• They charged me over $400.
• I had to get recommendations from my Facebook crew for a reputable, trustworthy mechanic to REALLY fix it this time.
In the course of my conversation with the owner of the second shop, I went just a tad beyond those three statements. Just a tad.
Day One again.
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I got my car fixed yesterday.
Finally.
Some statements of fact:
• I had had the car in to one repair shop a few months ago for the same thing.
• They charged me over $400.
• I had to get recommendations from my Facebook crew for a reputable, trustworthy mechanic to REALLY fix it this time.
In the course of my conversation with the owner of the second shop, I went just a tad beyond those three statements. Just a tad.
Day One again.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Day 30
Day 30: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My newly adopted censor took a coffee break yesterday. I ran into someone who, admittedly, has some real issues with an employer. We had been in contact about it over the past few months, as she had asked my professional advice to help her navigate the situation.
I guess my advice wasn’t much help to her, although she wasn’t complaining about that. We commiserated about the topic in general, and then sailed off into a mini-tirade concerning the industry in its entirety.
As we talked, I could feel my blood pressure go up and soon my comments became complaints. “Soon” is an understatement. It happened more like a bolt of lightning.
I think for all of us there are topics that are touchstones. We feel so strongly about them that it is difficult to stop ourselves before we fall off the cliff of their pessimistic energy.
And there are also people who bring out the, shall we say, less than best in us?
Put those two together yesterday, and it’s back to day one for me today
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My newly adopted censor took a coffee break yesterday. I ran into someone who, admittedly, has some real issues with an employer. We had been in contact about it over the past few months, as she had asked my professional advice to help her navigate the situation.
I guess my advice wasn’t much help to her, although she wasn’t complaining about that. We commiserated about the topic in general, and then sailed off into a mini-tirade concerning the industry in its entirety.
As we talked, I could feel my blood pressure go up and soon my comments became complaints. “Soon” is an understatement. It happened more like a bolt of lightning.
I think for all of us there are topics that are touchstones. We feel so strongly about them that it is difficult to stop ourselves before we fall off the cliff of their pessimistic energy.
And there are also people who bring out the, shall we say, less than best in us?
Put those two together yesterday, and it’s back to day one for me today
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Day29
Day 29: Real Time
Day Six: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
You just never know who’s listening, do you?
Posting a column on the Internet is like folding your work into a paper airplane and shooting it out into the universe. How far does it go? Who sees it?
Does anyone even READ it?
I got a phone call yesterday from someone I haven’t talked to in months. After answering my phone, the voice on the other end of the line immediately commented on my complaint free journey. He also said that he had had no idea I was so unhappy the last time we had had any contact at all.
My mind clicked into the old gear it had become so comfortable with and my mouth opened, with the intent of “sharing” some of the challenges I have faced in 2010. And then my new friend, the complaint censor, slapped a hand over my mouth.
“Well, let’s just say that 2010 has been a challenge for me,” I said. I mentioned that my dad has passed away, but I didn’t go into any detail about that event or any of the others that I have faced in the first six months of this year.
And then we moved on to discuss why he had called, my complaints left lying there unspoken. Thank goodness.
Not only did I save him from the taint of my moaning, but my own mindset remained positive as I started my day.
And day six is on the horizon. I'll send you that airplane tomorrow.
Day Six: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
You just never know who’s listening, do you?
Posting a column on the Internet is like folding your work into a paper airplane and shooting it out into the universe. How far does it go? Who sees it?
Does anyone even READ it?
I got a phone call yesterday from someone I haven’t talked to in months. After answering my phone, the voice on the other end of the line immediately commented on my complaint free journey. He also said that he had had no idea I was so unhappy the last time we had had any contact at all.
My mind clicked into the old gear it had become so comfortable with and my mouth opened, with the intent of “sharing” some of the challenges I have faced in 2010. And then my new friend, the complaint censor, slapped a hand over my mouth.
“Well, let’s just say that 2010 has been a challenge for me,” I said. I mentioned that my dad has passed away, but I didn’t go into any detail about that event or any of the others that I have faced in the first six months of this year.
And then we moved on to discuss why he had called, my complaints left lying there unspoken. Thank goodness.
Not only did I save him from the taint of my moaning, but my own mindset remained positive as I started my day.
And day six is on the horizon. I'll send you that airplane tomorrow.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Day 28
Day 28: Real Time
Day Six: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My purple bracelet is still on my right wrist....where it’s been for five days.
I spent most of the day alone yesterday, working in my yard, shopping for necessities at the big box store up the road from my house, catching up on episodes of Stargate Universe.
Maybe it’s the solitude. But I did talk to friends across the country on the phone as the day went on. I have a great patio covered with a bright blue canopy where I rest with a glass of tea once in a while. I chatted with people in Missouri and New Mexico, some closer to home. We talked, and I repeated some of my new stock phrases: I understand, that’s interesting, that’s too bad. And then I stopped talking.
My previous additions to these conversations would be to find some incident that could top their story. Or I would prolong any hint of controversy or complaining by tagging along on their train of angst. What fun, right?
The stress in my life over time had become unbearable. I felt negative about everything and became unpleasant to be around, I’m sure.
Today I will be interacting with lots of people as I go back into the work week. We’ll see how day six goes!
Day Six: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
My purple bracelet is still on my right wrist....where it’s been for five days.
I spent most of the day alone yesterday, working in my yard, shopping for necessities at the big box store up the road from my house, catching up on episodes of Stargate Universe.
Maybe it’s the solitude. But I did talk to friends across the country on the phone as the day went on. I have a great patio covered with a bright blue canopy where I rest with a glass of tea once in a while. I chatted with people in Missouri and New Mexico, some closer to home. We talked, and I repeated some of my new stock phrases: I understand, that’s interesting, that’s too bad. And then I stopped talking.
My previous additions to these conversations would be to find some incident that could top their story. Or I would prolong any hint of controversy or complaining by tagging along on their train of angst. What fun, right?
The stress in my life over time had become unbearable. I felt negative about everything and became unpleasant to be around, I’m sure.
Today I will be interacting with lots of people as I go back into the work week. We’ll see how day six goes!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Day 27
Day 27: Real Time
Day Five: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I made it through another day! That makes four days in a row, and I’m amazed. It’s like a switch turned in me and this effort has become….not too much of an effort any more.
I drove to south Florida and back over the weekend, and reconnected with some cousins that I haven’t seen in decades. One of them has a 14 year old son that I met for the first time, so it was a wonderful visit.
There were several times that I pulled back at the last second from turning a statement of fact into a complaint. It’s like there are two of me: One in the moment having the conversation and one that’s already five seconds ahead of me censoring as I go along. Weird.
But apparently effective! On to day 5!
Day Five: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I made it through another day! That makes four days in a row, and I’m amazed. It’s like a switch turned in me and this effort has become….not too much of an effort any more.
I drove to south Florida and back over the weekend, and reconnected with some cousins that I haven’t seen in decades. One of them has a 14 year old son that I met for the first time, so it was a wonderful visit.
There were several times that I pulled back at the last second from turning a statement of fact into a complaint. It’s like there are two of me: One in the moment having the conversation and one that’s already five seconds ahead of me censoring as I go along. Weird.
But apparently effective! On to day 5!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Day 26
Day 26: Real Time
Day Four: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I guess the word that best describes how I’m feeling as I move on to Day 4 is “mellow.”
And, I must admit, “quiet.”
Maybe another tactic to reaching 21 days complaint free is to become a skilled listener. I find that I am listening to others talk a lot more while participating in the conversation a lot less.
My dad was a quiet man. The image that clicks into my mind when I remember him is that of him reading the newspaper. Our family swirled around him, sometimes with a lot of chaos, but he seldom participated in all that. He read.
However, once in a while he’d offer a bit of wisdom, some of which still resonates with me.
“Some people just like to hear themselves talk,” he said one day.
And here I am, the woman who became effusive after middle age and delights in telling people what I think. I seem to have become much too pleased with my own voice, my own opinions.
I made it to Day 4 by reverting to my father’s advice. I’m listening more and talking less.
Day Four: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I guess the word that best describes how I’m feeling as I move on to Day 4 is “mellow.”
And, I must admit, “quiet.”
Maybe another tactic to reaching 21 days complaint free is to become a skilled listener. I find that I am listening to others talk a lot more while participating in the conversation a lot less.
My dad was a quiet man. The image that clicks into my mind when I remember him is that of him reading the newspaper. Our family swirled around him, sometimes with a lot of chaos, but he seldom participated in all that. He read.
However, once in a while he’d offer a bit of wisdom, some of which still resonates with me.
“Some people just like to hear themselves talk,” he said one day.
And here I am, the woman who became effusive after middle age and delights in telling people what I think. I seem to have become much too pleased with my own voice, my own opinions.
I made it to Day 4 by reverting to my father’s advice. I’m listening more and talking less.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Day 25
Day 25: Real Time
Day Three: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
Interesting.
I completed Day Two successfully. But after the many days of frustration I experienced before I got here, I somewhat distrust my success.
I’m not complaining, mind you. I merely think it’s interesting that I’m questioning myself. How was my day different from those previous rocks around the clock when I couldn’t go more than an hour after wakening without complaining?
Guess it’s me that’s beginning to be different.
Day Three: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
Interesting.
I completed Day Two successfully. But after the many days of frustration I experienced before I got here, I somewhat distrust my success.
I’m not complaining, mind you. I merely think it’s interesting that I’m questioning myself. How was my day different from those previous rocks around the clock when I couldn’t go more than an hour after wakening without complaining?
Guess it’s me that’s beginning to be different.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Day 24
Day 24: Real Time
Day 2: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I think I did it. Hold on…..let me think.
In monitoring my behavior as the day went on yesterday and then thinking back over the course of the day, I don’t recall falling into the pit of negativity and complaining!
That pit yawned and tried to pull me in, that’s for sure. But I remember smiling and listening instead of joining in the conversation. As Will Bowen states in his book, we are not our brothers’ keeper in pointing out THEIR complaining. That just gets us in trouble maneuvering our own path.
So, on to Day Two….finally.
Day 2: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I think I did it. Hold on…..let me think.
In monitoring my behavior as the day went on yesterday and then thinking back over the course of the day, I don’t recall falling into the pit of negativity and complaining!
That pit yawned and tried to pull me in, that’s for sure. But I remember smiling and listening instead of joining in the conversation. As Will Bowen states in his book, we are not our brothers’ keeper in pointing out THEIR complaining. That just gets us in trouble maneuvering our own path.
So, on to Day Two….finally.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Day 23
Day 23: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
“Life is fired at us point-blank.” Jose Ortega Y Gasset
I’m still close, but not there yet. Yesterday I got involved in a discussion of two thorny, on-going issues, and the conversation took on that life of its own that includes sarcasm and general negativity. But, I’m still hopeful.
An interesting side-note: I wrote yesterday about a comment I sent via email to a columnist friend of mine that I felt was a complaint. Later in the day I received this email from her:
For what it's worth, I read your email yesterday afternoon and said to myself "Boy, she is doing great! Just stating the facts without a complaint about the paper. Way to go, Deborah!" So, I was a bit surprised to read your blog just now to see that you DID consider it a complaint. To me.. if you had said something like "I can never count on them any more" or "I gave up on them ever using the right title of the column OR the right picture" ... THEN, I would have considered it a complaint.
I know you are a lot more sensitive about what you consider to be a complaint. You certainly know your game plan better that I do. But, as I said, from my point of view, I thought it was one of the more positive emails I have received from you regarding the paper in a very long time! :-)
I had to think about that for a while after reading it. AM I being too hard on myself, counting complaints where none really exist?
That would be nice to fall back on, wouldn’t it? But I know what the tone of voice in my head sounded like when I wrote my earlier words to her. I MEANT it as a complaint. She wasn’t in my head, though, and couldn’t hear the dripping sarcasm in my typed words hanging there on the page in their apparent neutrality.
However, her gentle admonishment will be taken into consideration. Maybe I do tend to be more critical of myself than is justified.
After all, it’s possible my newly acquired negativity is coloring the outlook I have on myself as well as others.
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
“Life is fired at us point-blank.” Jose Ortega Y Gasset
I’m still close, but not there yet. Yesterday I got involved in a discussion of two thorny, on-going issues, and the conversation took on that life of its own that includes sarcasm and general negativity. But, I’m still hopeful.
An interesting side-note: I wrote yesterday about a comment I sent via email to a columnist friend of mine that I felt was a complaint. Later in the day I received this email from her:
For what it's worth, I read your email yesterday afternoon and said to myself "Boy, she is doing great! Just stating the facts without a complaint about the paper. Way to go, Deborah!" So, I was a bit surprised to read your blog just now to see that you DID consider it a complaint. To me.. if you had said something like "I can never count on them any more" or "I gave up on them ever using the right title of the column OR the right picture" ... THEN, I would have considered it a complaint.
I know you are a lot more sensitive about what you consider to be a complaint. You certainly know your game plan better that I do. But, as I said, from my point of view, I thought it was one of the more positive emails I have received from you regarding the paper in a very long time! :-)
I had to think about that for a while after reading it. AM I being too hard on myself, counting complaints where none really exist?
That would be nice to fall back on, wouldn’t it? But I know what the tone of voice in my head sounded like when I wrote my earlier words to her. I MEANT it as a complaint. She wasn’t in my head, though, and couldn’t hear the dripping sarcasm in my typed words hanging there on the page in their apparent neutrality.
However, her gentle admonishment will be taken into consideration. Maybe I do tend to be more critical of myself than is justified.
After all, it’s possible my newly acquired negativity is coloring the outlook I have on myself as well as others.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Day 22
Day 22: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I came really close yesterday.
There were two instances where I complained, but one of them followed the rules. I stated a fact that touched on a situation, but that’s all I did….and I made the statement to someone who could actually fix that situation.
But, the second time I went just a tad too far. A fellow columnist sent me an email to make sure I had seen my photo in the local newspaper about one of my columns. Instead of enjoying the fact that it was there at all, I added a complaint in my response to her about how long it had been since the paper had done that at all. (I could have gotten by with it if I were an unethical person and told you I hadn’t complained yesterday, but I had put it in writing!)
But I do feel that I’m getting closer every day. Closer to being a more positive person, instead of someone who causes people to slink away when they see me.
An interesting note here: I’ve had some folks say that this column is a complaint about complaining. What’s your take on that? Do you agree? Disagree?
I’d be interested to hear your comments.
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I came really close yesterday.
There were two instances where I complained, but one of them followed the rules. I stated a fact that touched on a situation, but that’s all I did….and I made the statement to someone who could actually fix that situation.
But, the second time I went just a tad too far. A fellow columnist sent me an email to make sure I had seen my photo in the local newspaper about one of my columns. Instead of enjoying the fact that it was there at all, I added a complaint in my response to her about how long it had been since the paper had done that at all. (I could have gotten by with it if I were an unethical person and told you I hadn’t complained yesterday, but I had put it in writing!)
But I do feel that I’m getting closer every day. Closer to being a more positive person, instead of someone who causes people to slink away when they see me.
An interesting note here: I’ve had some folks say that this column is a complaint about complaining. What’s your take on that? Do you agree? Disagree?
I’d be interested to hear your comments.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Day 21
Day 21: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
Every morning I read from a variety of books that motivate and challenge me in some way. One of my favorite authors is Sarah Ban Breathnach, and I’m currently Romancing the Ordinary with her as dawn rises each day.
Although I’ve read this book before, I noticed something new this time. The Japanese concept of wabi-sabi, or relishing the imperfections in life and ourselves. I have heard this term before, but never even wondered what it meant.
Now, however, as I struggle through each day trying to refrain from griping and grousing, wabi-sabi seems like the perfect framework for this journey.
By complaining, aren’t we setting ourselves in front of the world as perfect, the all-knowing arbiter of all that unfolds in front of us every day? WE know how things should be done, how others should behave, therefore, we have the right to set them all straight….right?
And then I read about wabi-sabi.
“A Japanese sensibility that reveres the art of imperfection, as well as the paradox of the inevitability of mistakes, is known as wabi-sabi. Unlike feng shui, this state of mind requires only a shift in attitude—critical to complimentary—instead of furniture,” Ban Breathnach says in the book.
Critical to complimentary. Yesterday I made it all the way to evening without complaining. And then I fell off the cliff again. The critical cliff, setting myself up as the one who knows, and judges, all for everyone. It was a small slip, and I recognized it as soon as it happened, but the bracelet had to be moved again.
Maybe I can use “Wabi-sabi, wabi-sabi, wabi-sabi” as my new mantra, and accept the imperfections of not only all those around me, but myself as well.
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
Every morning I read from a variety of books that motivate and challenge me in some way. One of my favorite authors is Sarah Ban Breathnach, and I’m currently Romancing the Ordinary with her as dawn rises each day.
Although I’ve read this book before, I noticed something new this time. The Japanese concept of wabi-sabi, or relishing the imperfections in life and ourselves. I have heard this term before, but never even wondered what it meant.
Now, however, as I struggle through each day trying to refrain from griping and grousing, wabi-sabi seems like the perfect framework for this journey.
By complaining, aren’t we setting ourselves in front of the world as perfect, the all-knowing arbiter of all that unfolds in front of us every day? WE know how things should be done, how others should behave, therefore, we have the right to set them all straight….right?
And then I read about wabi-sabi.
“A Japanese sensibility that reveres the art of imperfection, as well as the paradox of the inevitability of mistakes, is known as wabi-sabi. Unlike feng shui, this state of mind requires only a shift in attitude—critical to complimentary—instead of furniture,” Ban Breathnach says in the book.
Critical to complimentary. Yesterday I made it all the way to evening without complaining. And then I fell off the cliff again. The critical cliff, setting myself up as the one who knows, and judges, all for everyone. It was a small slip, and I recognized it as soon as it happened, but the bracelet had to be moved again.
Maybe I can use “Wabi-sabi, wabi-sabi, wabi-sabi” as my new mantra, and accept the imperfections of not only all those around me, but myself as well.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Day 20
Day 20: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I guess I’m still learning to juggle.
For those of you who have read “A Complaint Free World,” you understand my dilemma. I am approaching the 21 day mark of my journey to become a positive, affirming person instead of the harpy I had begun to hear everywhere I went. (For a while I didn’t know who that horrid person was. Then I realized it was ME, toxic conversation spilling venom onto my corner of the world.)
Will Bowen relates how he teaches people to juggle by making them drop balls over and over before even beginning to show them how to actually manipulate them in the air.
In my quest to refrain from complaining, I’m still dropping balls.
Yesterday, my mother and I visited with a VA volunteer about a program for surviving spouses that is designed to supplement living expenses. My dad died while waiting for the VA to finish HIS paperwork.
The balls dropped several times during and after that conversation.
Today is a new Day One, though!
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I guess I’m still learning to juggle.
For those of you who have read “A Complaint Free World,” you understand my dilemma. I am approaching the 21 day mark of my journey to become a positive, affirming person instead of the harpy I had begun to hear everywhere I went. (For a while I didn’t know who that horrid person was. Then I realized it was ME, toxic conversation spilling venom onto my corner of the world.)
Will Bowen relates how he teaches people to juggle by making them drop balls over and over before even beginning to show them how to actually manipulate them in the air.
In my quest to refrain from complaining, I’m still dropping balls.
Yesterday, my mother and I visited with a VA volunteer about a program for surviving spouses that is designed to supplement living expenses. My dad died while waiting for the VA to finish HIS paperwork.
The balls dropped several times during and after that conversation.
Today is a new Day One, though!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Day 19
Day 19: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
Wow.
I was critical of someone yesterday as I explained what the purple bracelet is for.
So, today is another day. Actually, another Day One.
I listened to the Complaint Free World CD in my car again yesterday as I was driving around town. I’m always glad that I do that, because it motivates me in this journey. I heard the stories of those who had mastered the 21 days, some of them taking many months to do so.
Will Bowen also mentioned something that I don’t think many of us realize. Complaining is a way of getting attention. I guess this means that we have become so unfamiliar with positive “stuff” in our lives that we have taken the default position of negativity in speaking to each other. We feel that we have to complain to garner attention at all.
It’s sad that we’re more comfortable with that kind of interchange, isn’t it?
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
Wow.
I was critical of someone yesterday as I explained what the purple bracelet is for.
So, today is another day. Actually, another Day One.
I listened to the Complaint Free World CD in my car again yesterday as I was driving around town. I’m always glad that I do that, because it motivates me in this journey. I heard the stories of those who had mastered the 21 days, some of them taking many months to do so.
Will Bowen also mentioned something that I don’t think many of us realize. Complaining is a way of getting attention. I guess this means that we have become so unfamiliar with positive “stuff” in our lives that we have taken the default position of negativity in speaking to each other. We feel that we have to complain to garner attention at all.
It’s sad that we’re more comfortable with that kind of interchange, isn’t it?
Friday, June 4, 2010
Day 18
Day 18: Real Time
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
Something is happening to my outlook about complaining.
I am learning to anticipate it. Not stop it, apparently. But I can foresee situations or people who wring it out of me, no matter my best intentions.
It's also interesting how some of my friends and family react to my journey. They tell me things like, "But everyone needs to vent!"
Or I get a stare that indicates the person begins thinking about ME not complaining and moves into how THEY would do if they took the same challenge.
Watching that progression cross someone's face is instructive. No, wait. If I'm honest, it's actually funny to see their thoughts move like a wave from their polite attention to my journey to just a tiny understanding of how difficult it would be in their own lives.
I can't even tell you what I complained about yesterday. I know I moved my bracelet a few times. I do know that my general outlook on life has improved, though.
And that's a small point within the larger point of this whole exercise, isn't it?
Day One: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
Something is happening to my outlook about complaining.
I am learning to anticipate it. Not stop it, apparently. But I can foresee situations or people who wring it out of me, no matter my best intentions.
It's also interesting how some of my friends and family react to my journey. They tell me things like, "But everyone needs to vent!"
Or I get a stare that indicates the person begins thinking about ME not complaining and moves into how THEY would do if they took the same challenge.
Watching that progression cross someone's face is instructive. No, wait. If I'm honest, it's actually funny to see their thoughts move like a wave from their polite attention to my journey to just a tiny understanding of how difficult it would be in their own lives.
I can't even tell you what I complained about yesterday. I know I moved my bracelet a few times. I do know that my general outlook on life has improved, though.
And that's a small point within the larger point of this whole exercise, isn't it?
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Day 17
Day 17: Real Time
Day One: 21 day complaint free journey
One word.
Traffic.
I would have been OK if someone hadn't been in the car with me to hear it.
Day One…..again.
Day One: 21 day complaint free journey
One word.
Traffic.
I would have been OK if someone hadn't been in the car with me to hear it.
Day One…..again.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Day 16
Day 16: Real time
Day One: 21 day complaint free journey
Many of you know that I tackled my recurring weight issue in 2009. Not only did I tackle it, I decimated it!
And I did it by thinking about what I was doing BEFORE I did it and then making good choices.
Yesterday morning I realized I was going to have to call my health insurance company. Not only call them, but I was dealing with a bureaucratic situation that has been recurring over a period of about 3 months. Not very successfully, it seems.
As my hand reached to pick up the phone, I stopped. How was I going to approach this conversation without complaining? I have become very assertive in such situations, as you may have guessed from earlier posts on this journey to being complaint free for 21 days.
I mentally laid a plan and then I dialed.
It’s a good thing I had that little conversation with myself, that’s all I can say.
I found out what I needed to know, and I HUNG UP.
Aren’t you proud of me? Me, too….until I just had to tell someone about that situation later in the day. Complete with the whole back story to the failings of the company, the agents I’ve talked to on the phone and a lot of hand waving on my part.
But my weight loss wasn’t a straight line, either. It had ups and downs as I approached the scale every week. I learned to ignore the setbacks.
I’m now a paid weight loss leader with this international company, teaching others how to conquer their issues with food.
I can do the same on this journey to stop being a whiner.
Back to Day One.
Day One: 21 day complaint free journey
Many of you know that I tackled my recurring weight issue in 2009. Not only did I tackle it, I decimated it!
And I did it by thinking about what I was doing BEFORE I did it and then making good choices.
Yesterday morning I realized I was going to have to call my health insurance company. Not only call them, but I was dealing with a bureaucratic situation that has been recurring over a period of about 3 months. Not very successfully, it seems.
As my hand reached to pick up the phone, I stopped. How was I going to approach this conversation without complaining? I have become very assertive in such situations, as you may have guessed from earlier posts on this journey to being complaint free for 21 days.
I mentally laid a plan and then I dialed.
It’s a good thing I had that little conversation with myself, that’s all I can say.
I found out what I needed to know, and I HUNG UP.
Aren’t you proud of me? Me, too….until I just had to tell someone about that situation later in the day. Complete with the whole back story to the failings of the company, the agents I’ve talked to on the phone and a lot of hand waving on my part.
But my weight loss wasn’t a straight line, either. It had ups and downs as I approached the scale every week. I learned to ignore the setbacks.
I’m now a paid weight loss leader with this international company, teaching others how to conquer their issues with food.
I can do the same on this journey to stop being a whiner.
Back to Day One.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Day 15
Day 15: Real Time
Day Two: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I did it! I made it through a whole day without complaining.
And it felt great.
What made the day different, enough so that I wasn’t caught in my recent cycle of moaning?
Several times during the day I found myself checking in with my progress.
Had I complained? No. Check.
Had I purposely refrained? Yes. Double check!
Could I keep it up? You bet, now that I knew how good it felt.
I was calm, I wasn’t caught up in work since it was a holiday, and I was taking things slow and enjoying the day.
I also remember thinking, “I CAN do this, and I will start again today to focus on each moment of each day as it happens.”
On to Day Two….one second at a time if that's what it takes.
Day Two: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey
I did it! I made it through a whole day without complaining.
And it felt great.
What made the day different, enough so that I wasn’t caught in my recent cycle of moaning?
Several times during the day I found myself checking in with my progress.
Had I complained? No. Check.
Had I purposely refrained? Yes. Double check!
Could I keep it up? You bet, now that I knew how good it felt.
I was calm, I wasn’t caught up in work since it was a holiday, and I was taking things slow and enjoying the day.
I also remember thinking, “I CAN do this, and I will start again today to focus on each moment of each day as it happens.”
On to Day Two….one second at a time if that's what it takes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
