Day 90

Day 90: Real Time
Day 8: 21 Day Complaint Free Journey



It’s amazing how our interactions with others are interpreted so differently by the speaker and the receiver. Communication is a skill, just like any other, that must be taught and then practiced if we have any hope of being successful as friends, coworkers, lovers, strangers, and even kin. (Those last two categories are not mutually exclusive, by the way. I have some really strange kin and I bet you do, too.)

I travelled to a nearby town to spend some time with a cousin that I had lost touch with over the years. Like about 50 years, to be precise. He and his girlfriend and I walked up to Scarlett O’Hara’s for wings and beer and catching up. The conversation bounced back and forth, and then I asked him a question about our other cousins. Whether he had been close to any of them over the years.

Suddenly, he stopped the conversation in its tracks and remarked that he really appreciated that I ask questions about his life. He pointed out that many people are only involved in “conversation” with a goal of talking about themselves. Complete with moaning about everything surrounding them.

Without going into a long complaint about these people, give it some thought on your own. Do you know folks like this? How does it make you feel when they hijack the discourse and run off with it, usually without even acknowledging what you last said?

So, what does that have to do with my 21 day journey to become complaint free? I started this journey 90 days ago because I felt that I had become a burden as a friend, a mother, a coworker, a relative. I had begun to hear my whining and complaining and I didn’t like what I was hearing. At all.

We simply must be aware of how we are conversing with one another. Do we commandeer the conversation, shining the spotlight on our lives, especially to complain about how difficult things are? Or are we truly interested in those who sit on the other side of the table? We all have burdens to carry. Maybe instead of only focusing on our own, we can really listen to each other with true intent to lift some of those burdens from each other.

Even if it's only to ask a simple question.



Day 8. I have passed the ONE WEEK mark again!